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While still in pigtails I yearned for two things--to perform in sweeping musicals on Broadway, and to write books. Since God neglected to give me rhythm for dancing or a voice for singing, I aimed my dream at writing.
My first published piece was a children’s story, the fictionalized adventure of western legend Charlie Parkhurst, the fastest stagecoach driver during California Gold Rush days. It wasn’t until Charlie died that the world discovered “he” was a woman, who had once had a child. I began asking myself why she masqueraded as a man for twenty years. Nobody knows the answer, but fiction is all about exploring the “what ifs” in life. Researching for this story sparked my interest in digging around for fascinating history.
Seeing my first byline spurred me on to land a job as gal reporter for my small town weekly newspaper, where I studied all aspects of the newspaper business and learned how to make every word count. I penned feature stories and a humor column about the exploits of country living, and began submitting articles to major magazines. Then my mate left me for another, and with two young daughters to support, I had no choice but to seek full time employment, wondering if my dream was dead. But God opened the door for a position at a state senator’s office at our state capitol, and there I expanded my writing and researching skills, while gaining the bonus of discovering a passion for politics and encouraging Christians to get involved and be informed voters. We are a powerful voice for the truth.
After twelve years as a legislative aide, I left my job to write and speak full time. I felt like Moses after crossing the Red Sea with the Israelites. Back beyond the waves lie the seat of power, where I once held a position with a title and a laminated badge with my photo on it. It was a place that pulsed with action, where important headline-making decisions were made. There I had an identity, but my Red Sea had closed by God's power, and there was no turning back. Isn't that our Christian journey, moving ahead as God leads in anticipation of what he will do next, how he will use us for his glory?
But I still groped for a new sense of self worth in a new wilderness, wondering if I’d ever reach the Promised Land of publishing. And I didn't have forty years left to wander around either.
Was I a fool to give up my secure job like some of my coworkers warned? The insecurities rushed in and the comparisons against others found me coming up short. Why would anyone care what I had to say? And yet God intends that our dreams prove far bigger than our fears. He assured me: You are the message, Jan. Just be yourself. Tell your stories, from your own experiences, in your own way with your personality. You have a style all your own, and my daughter—I created you that way and what I create is always good. Just share the truth about me as it’s been made real in your life. Wow, why didn’t I think of that?
Now I've had the honor of writing five books, and God opened each door in his own time. And I'm sharing his message with women in my own unique way, enjoying every minute of this season of my life. God’s timing is perfect, and he is never late.